var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-30146805-1']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })(); Tumblr (3.0; @awkwardcelebritieswithanimals)http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1kk8ucGTN1rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><span class="Apple-style-span">IT’S SHAQ WEDNESDAY!!!</span></p> <p><span class="Apple-style-span">Before finding success as a rapping genie named Kazaam, Shaq was in a short-lived rap duo called Poochie and Dunk Man.  They only released one single, a strangely basketball and fetching sticks themed number called Steals, Sticks and Slams. </span><span class="Apple-style-span">Above is their only press photo.  </span></p> <p><span class="Apple-style-span">Poochie (real name Sammy) was killed </span><span class="Apple-style-span">in 1993</span><span class="Apple-style-span"> in a motel shootout. He was three (dog) years old. </span></p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/20036246934http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/20036246934Tue, 27 Mar 2012 20:34:05 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1kjztblP31rs59vqo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><span class="Apple-style-span">IT’S SHAQ WEDNESDAY!!!</span></p> <p><span class="Apple-style-span">One of Shaq’s favourite tricks is reminding captive animals that they’re prisoners and hungry.  Take that, elephant!!</span></p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/20035892732http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/20035892732Tue, 27 Mar 2012 20:28:41 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1kjwnGqzl1rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><span class="Apple-style-span">IT’S SHAQ WEDNESDAY!!!</span></p> <p><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span">This shark dared fake the funk on a nasty dunk. Shaq was left no option but to kill it. </span></span></p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/20035762463http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/20035762463Tue, 27 Mar 2012 20:26:47 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1iox0DhgZ1rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>One of Hollywood’s best loved games is <em>Side of an Elephant or Billy Crystal’s Back.  </em>Meg Ryan is the current Women’s World Champ.</p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19981329720http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19981329720Mon, 26 Mar 2012 20:19:00 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1iokdV3I61rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>That puppy goes hard with the motherfucking pant!!  Geddit? like Waka’s song hard in the paint?  ’Cause puppies pant.  And pant looks like paint when you write it down.  That’s what… ahh, forget it, I know when I’m licked.</p> <p>HA! LICKED!!</p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19980822726http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19980822726Mon, 26 Mar 2012 20:12:13 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m19f26QjBq1rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>This bird got down to the last three on Rock of Love, Bret Michaels felt they would be better as friends.  Bret Michaels is a jerk. </p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19704901368http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19704901368Wed, 21 Mar 2012 20:08:30 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m19etzinLY1rs59vqo1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>If you want to look thin, stand next to a fat person.  If you want to look like you have normal sized ears, get your Prince Charles on and stand next to a goat.</p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19704594236http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19704594236Wed, 21 Mar 2012 20:03:35 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m17e7ivb4n1rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><span class="Apple-style-span">IT’S SHAQ WEDNESDAY!!!</span></p> <p><span class="Apple-style-span">There was a period when Shaq spearheaded a panda breeding program.  Every day he put on a surgical gown and tried to come up with an answer that would save these beautiful animals.  The photo above shows the moment when Shaq thought to himself, “Fine, I’ll just do it myself”. The female panda can literally feel Shaq’s “plan” poking here in the back.  </span></p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19644062170http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19644062170Tue, 20 Mar 2012 17:54:54 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m17dzwD0ZG1rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>IT’S SHAQ WEDNESDAY!!! </p> <p>Just after this photo was taken, Shaq said something that wasn’t the least bit amusing but because he’s an athlete everyone there guffawed like it was the funniest thing they have ever heard in their lives. </p> <p>For the record Shaq said, “That’s what I call sticking out your neck”. </p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19643794448http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19643794448Tue, 20 Mar 2012 17:50:00 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m17du04iiw1rs59vqo1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>IT’S SHAQ WEDNESDAY!!!</p> <p>Shaq meeting Li’l Sebastian.</p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19643589857http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19643589857Tue, 20 Mar 2012 17:46:00 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m16i1mdapr1rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>I would do awful things to you and everyone you love to trade places with that monkey. I love Coca-Cola merch. </p> <p>And Natalie Portman.</p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19622020618http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19622020618Tue, 20 Mar 2012 06:20:10 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m16hh4OtAs1rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>The dog is clearly a Hannah Montana fan. </p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19621827729http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19621827729Tue, 20 Mar 2012 06:07:52 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m16hc5K6af1rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>This is American Chopper and Celebrity Apprentice’s Paul Teutel Sr. He killed this fish. </p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19621780878http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19621780878Tue, 20 Mar 2012 06:04:53 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m15s73D3aq1rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>This dog looks so sad because Johnny Depp was her dream man, but then he arrived in a stripey, high-necked sweatshirt, wore two watches and complained about soy lattes becoming commercial.  </p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19602645471http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19602645471Mon, 19 Mar 2012 21:01:51 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m15mcz8Ak61rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Because I’m… seriously, if you can caption this, go for it. No-one here can come up with anything that can match the majesty of a fully clothed Jude Law sitting in a kiddie pool with a duck.</p> <p>Do it. Impress us. </p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19594660636http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19594660636Mon, 19 Mar 2012 18:55:47 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m15lirSrve1rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Conan wondered where his cat had gotten to. </p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19593510800http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19593510800Mon, 19 Mar 2012 18:37:39 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m15lgrrXre1rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Just before that photo was taken the cat said, “I fought for this country so you could enjoy a life without Nazi’s, and now some snot nosed little punk is going to tell me I can’t smoke my pipe inside!”</p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19593433947http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19593433947Mon, 19 Mar 2012 18:36:27 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m15l69OoIz1rs59vqo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>PDA.  Gross. </p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19593046980http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19593046980Mon, 19 Mar 2012 18:30:09 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m15kj4451Y1rs59vqo1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Oh, you’re into feet are you? What a deviant you are. You can’t get turned on until you hear balloons popping? Wow! What a freaky sex animal you turned out to be! Smoking’s your thing? Ohhhhh, sexy and dangerous.</p> <p>Actually, you’re all lame. Only when you admit that you can’t get an erection until you’ve covered Lucy Liu in dogs can you say you have a fetish.  </p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19592182674http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19592182674Mon, 19 Mar 2012 18:16:16 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m15fh3MfeD1rs59vqo1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>FUN FACT: The owl on Usher’s shoulder is the one who spotted Justin Bieber. He was rewarded with an enormous golden watch, which was inappropriate given the wrist size of an owl and the fact it can’t read analog and it has no need for the manmade construct of time.</p> <p>That fact wasn’t nearly as fun as it had promised. </p>http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19585777616http://awkwardcelebritieswithanimals.tumblr.com/post/19585777616Mon, 19 Mar 2012 16:27:03 -0400